If this column sucks...
it's not my fault. Marion Barry rammed my car last
night.
Good morning Capital, and WELCOME to the "swamps are
for gators" edition of That Was the Week That Was. We only
had half a week's worth of kickball this week, but there was
no shortage of excitement, great plays, funny stories, and
stunning upsets. We are really off and running to what's
shaping up to be a remarkable season of kicking balls.
Okay, let's get right to the good stuff.
THIS WEEK'S RESULTS:
Kickass Ballers 3 Thick Femur 2
AA-Team 4 Afternoon Delight 1
Here for the Beer 3 DC Detention 0
Bad News Barristers 4 Got Balls 1
Postponed by rain, will be replayed on MAY 25
6:30 Games
YTBD vs. Big Kids
Seconds from Disaster vs. Recess Appts.
7:15 Games
Lunchbox KC vs. Team Lush
Your Mom's Team vs. Red Rovers
Which makes
THIS WEEK'S
STANDINGS
look like this:
Kick-Ass Ballers 2 0 0
Yet To Be Determined 1 0 0
Lunchbox KC 1 0 0
Team Lush 1 0 0
Big Kids 1 0 0
Thick Femur 1 1 0
DC Detention 1 1 0
Here for the Beer 1 1 0
Bad News Barristers 1 1 0
Afternoon Delight 1 1 0
AA-Team 1 1 0
Your Mom's Team 0 1 0
Seconds From Disaster 0 1 0
Red Rovers 0 1 0
Recess Appointments 0 1 0
Got Balls 0 2 0
Expanded standings can be found here:
http://dckickball.org/capital/standings.htm
DRENCHED
THANK YOU to everyone who helped us make the decision and
pass the word to the division about the rainout last night,
and to the hearty souls who made the trip to the Ugly Mug
for their free pitchers. Turnout was light, but powerful.
The 20 pitchers were gone in about an hour. Nothing quite
like the 90 in 90 a few weeks back, but it's still a "WHAT'S
WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE" situation, wouldn't you say?
GAME OF THE WEEK
In honor of the great baseball poem "Casey at the Bat," we
present this lame ripoff to honor Wednesday's combatants:
The outlook wasn't
brilliant for the K-A-B that day:
The score stood two to nil, with but one half inning to
play,
When kicker one got onto base, and kicker two the same,
A sudden shock went 'cross the field, a chance to
win the game.
And suddenly a ball
dropped in, and runners gained a space.
A run crossed home - a
bunt, no less - and quickening of pace.
As shadows lengthened on
the field in mid-May summer heat...
The winning run crossed
home from third. Thick Femur had been beat.
TEAM OF THE WEEK
Rumor has it that there are actually 26 players
registered to play for the AA Team, but only EIGHT of
them showed up to play on Wednesday. So what did they
do? well, of course, they went out and won their game
against Afternoon Delight. This marks the second
straight week that a team fielding less than 11 players
has won a game. NO, IT'S NOT A GOOD STRATEGY. DON'T
START DOING IT ON PURPOSE.
PLAY OF THE WEEK
DC Detention's SPARKY is playing this kickball season
with a surgically-repaired right knee. That's
dedication. He's pitching while doing it. That's
amazing. And this week he lunged to his right to reel in
a short pop up, then spun and threw a dart to first base
to double up a runner who had left early. That's flat
out gutsy.
By the way, yes, that's two straight weeks we have
mentioned Sparky in this space. I already know, this is
"That Was The Week That Was" and not "Sparky and
Friends." Okay, back to it...
Honorable mentions go to THICK FEMUR for a deflected
two-man fly ball catch in right field; to GOT BALLS'
EARL for making a diving catch from the pitcher
position; and to KAB's second basewoman who caught a
line drive by trapping the ball between her arms and the
side of her face.
CORRECTION OF THE WEEK
In this space last time out, we cited a Bad News
Barrister for making a great catch with a Kickass Baller
draped all over her. Turns out I had the teams switched.
It was KAB's CLAUDIA who made the amazing catch last
week. Apologies!
FUNNY PLAY OF THE WEEK
Here for the Beer's pitcher and catcher each made mad
dashes toward foul territory to try and catch a fly ball
but couldn't reel it in. The catcher, without looking,
scooped up the ball on the bounce and flung it back to
the pitcher - who she didn't know was two feet away. He
got smacked right in the face.
TEAM CHEER OF THE WEEK
After losing game one 13-0 and game two 4-1, GOT BALLS
postgame cheer: "PROGRESS!"
This week also marks the official return of DCD's famous
cheer: "WE SUCK! LET'S DRINK!"
"YOU DON'T PLAY CHECKERS WITH
CHESS PIECES" OF THE WEEK
Bad News Barristers' JUSTIN showed up with a finely
packaged set of pristine PING PONG BALLS and hovered
near the flip cup tables with them. No one took him up
on the challenge though. Fine idea, but unfortunate
execution. I guess they didn't teach how to play
drinking games at Michigan.
HA FREAKING HA, JUSTIN! BOOM! GOTCHA! WE ARE PENN STATE!
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Team Lush's KELISA, while a survey of teams was being
run at the Ugly Mug last night, looked over and
identified a gaggle of LUNCHBOX KCers at a table across
the bar:
"Yeah, we beat them. Oh sh*t, we didn't play!"
Spirit of kickball.
Honorable mention goes to AA-Team's ELISSA, complaining
about too many locals in the Mug: "they take up precious
SPACE!"
MOST PHOTOGENIC
I think I counted four cameras snapping shots in and
around the BAD NEWS BARRISTERS at the Mug on Wednesday
night. This must mean they're building a team Web site,
RIGHT?
CRYSTAL PITCHER UPDATE
First, let's give a shout out to LUNCHBOX KC, who had 14
people at the bar last night even though the games were
rained out. The RED ROVERS were well represented as
well. Good job everyone!
Shout outs at the flip cup table on Wednesday go to
AA-TEAM and AFTERNOON DELIGHT, who never seemed to leave
it; and to THICK FEMUR in a big way, once they hit the
tables they never gave them up (and they got a measure
of revenge by sweeping the Kickass Ballers). Bar
attendance props go to HERE FOR THE BEER, who came out
in really strong numbers and seemed to rule the middle
of the bar; and to the BAD NEWS BARRISTERS, who own the
back of the bar on Wednesday nights, and DC DETENTION,
who owned the front of the place.
Okay, this
is getting ridiculously long. We only played half a week
of kickball, this should have been half the length of
normal. Get back to work, SLACKER.
Questions? comments? Unspeakable outrage? jp@ctam.com or
AIM: jaypea99.
Have a great weekend and we'll see you on the fields
next week!
John "JP" Powers
Co-Captain, Big Kids
President, Capital Conference
DCKickball
